Warning: If you are not comfortable reading about breasts and brassiers, do no read this.
Despite staying at home a lot recently and not wearing a bra, I recently purchased an environmentally friendly, reasonably-priced, non-underwired bra which I never in a million years thought would exist! It seems bras have come so far from when I was a young girl with no boobs.
While I was growing up, I couldn’t wait for my boobs to get big enough so that I could wear a bra. By secondary school, a lot of my friends already had a bust worthy of a sizeable cup, but I had to wait until I was at least 14 before my breasts were even mildly cupable. Small boobs can be a blessing and a curse; I have no back pain from their weight, but the media would have us believe that women with a good cleavage are infinitely more desirable.
At least that’s how I perceived it, and seeing images of these beautiful women as well as the average cup size being a 34B, did nothing for my confidence. Adding onto this pressure, at the age of 17, my first ever boyfriend constantly told me that when he was rich he would buy me a boob job. Whenever I was with him he would cup his hands around these imaginary fake boobs and tell me where my chest should come out to. He was undoubtably an arsehat.
I’d like to add that I have nothing against people who get their breasts enlarged, as long as it’s what they truly want and will truly help. Before I met the love of my life, I was considering getting larger boobs, but the promise of immeasurable amounts of pain for many months made my mind up for me (It was a solid no). If you do want to know more though, Patricia Bright talks very openly about her breast enlargement in a video she posted in 2017.
After 1year and 10 months of being told my boobs were inadequate, I finally dumped the arsehat, but it took a long time for me to love my small boobs: three years to be exact. For those years I talked to friends, strangers, girls and boys about my small boobs who all helped me to come to the conclusion that boobs do not define beauty. Now I even venture out of the house without a bra sometimes which I would never ever have done a year ago.
As well as the help gained from talking to three years worth of people, finding the right bra was paramount to the way I felt about my breasts. I had bras for specific outfits, bras for daytime, bras for nights out and bras for sport. The whole point of a bra is to support and shape the bust as well as separating the breasts to avoid what “The Duff” describes as a “uniboob”.
I just want to touch on each of these points. The average bras size is now 36DD compared to 34B eleven years ago and support is obviously important, maybe more so for people with larger boobs, but even small boobs move around and it’s nice to have them where you left them.
Separation and shape are the more aesthetic aspect of bras and the most desirable shape of breasts has changed throughout history. The pointy boobs from the 1940s and 50s are a thing of the past and rounded, central breasts seem like they are here to stay. While many people including myself want to achieve the desirable boob shape that has been decided for us by the bras available, there’s no doubt that you look your best when you are comfortable. They’re your boobs and you get to choose what they look like. Mine look different every day.
There is always a question of the underwire vs. soft cups. The good news is that there is no scientific evidence that underwired bras cause breast cancer (check out breastcancer.org for more info). Despite this I find that underwired bras are very uncomfortable; no matter what size I get they ride up and I end up wiggling them down multiple times a day so much so that I have this action down to a fine art.
Imagine my elation when my friend introduced me to padded, non-underwired bras 2 years ago. They have save my sanity and I love that I can buy a sexy bra that doesn’t work its way up to my nipples during the course of the day.
Thanks to people wanting to be environmentally friendly and comfortable at the same time, eco-non-underwired bras now exist! There are probably many companies out there that provide this product, but bras from Boody came highly recommended by a Youtuber called Sedona Christina who also has a smaller bust. They are surprisingly well prices and I bought a pack of two padded bras for £36 which from experience is a highly competitive price for bras!
As I’ve mentioned many times in this post, I have small boobs so I can’t comment on the support these bras would give someone with larger boobs. I am a size 32/ 34A in underwired bras so non-underwired provide better support for me personally.
It’s probably obvious that I think about my boobs way too much which isn’t very feminist at all, but they aren’t something to push to the side. They are an important part of the body and should be celebrated for their diversity instead of trying to cram them all into the same narrow-minded shape.
I’d love to hear your thoughts on what I’ve said and if you’ve experienced the same hang-ups and arsehats that I have. As a bonus for making to the end of this post, I’d like to share another story:
While I was single, I was on Tinder. A very friendly boy popped up, and we started chatting. He was quite intense, but I was enjoying getting to know him and we had arranged to meet a week in advance. It was in this week that things took a strange turn. One day, out of the blue, this boy sent me a picture of a beautiful lady who had on a very skimpy black dress that accentuated her large boob job. Following the picture he asked “would you ever wear something like this?” I tentatively replied, that I would not with a quip about how my boobs aren’t really big enough for such a revealing dress, but I did have a black dress.
There was a long pause after which he responded by asking “Would you ever get a boob job?” To this I put my head in my hands, uttered a loud cry of annoyance and quickly replied that I never would and that I no longer wished to meet him or speak to him anymore; how could I be comfortable around someone who had asked me that?! He apologised profusely, but the damage was done and I’d narrowly missed getting involved with another arsehat.
That’s it, the boob talk is over. Thank you for reading this and I would love to hear about your relationship with your boobs.